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Vanishing Point (Your Memes Reviewed): The Joseph Ducreux Self-Portrait
by Miles Klee In 1793, France's revolutionary government decreed that the Louvre Palace, a much-remodeled Parisian fortress, should serve as a museum to house and exhibit the nation's 537 greatest...
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Stop Threatening To Kill People Over The Internet!
by Miles Klee Sleep. Go on, sleep. Rest easy. I want your muscles relaxed so I can peel them cleanly off your bones. Then I'm gonna cut your bicuspids out and carve the Greek alphabet into the softest...
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Vanishing Point: "Downfall" and the Filmed History of Hitler
by Miles Klee Late last month, it very nearly ended: a meme that had, weirdly, endured for years. When the copyright notices finally came to YouTube, and some of the videos were removed–well, they...
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An 81-Hour Break From Civilization At Sasquatch Music Festival 2010
by Miles Klee The port-a-potty situation is universally humbling. The brand is Honey Bucket, which is so gross and psychosexually radioactive a name that the excreta deposited and vacuumed out of them...
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The Golden Age Of Hipper-Than-Thou CD Fetishization Begins Now
by Miles Klee Yeah, no, I bet whatever album you're trying to tell me about is great. It's not even out yet? Ooh, a leak! So you've got, what, a 160 kbps transcode ripped from NPR's live stream or...
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'Futurama' Returns: Now More Than Whenever
by Miles Klee Nerds: they talk about nerd things. Here, nerds Becky Ferreira and Miles Klee discuss the return/reboot of Futurama, now airing its sixth season on Comedy Central. Miles Klee: Becky! I...
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The Museum Instinct and Sarcastic Amazon Reviews
by Miles Klee Have you visited the saddest IMDb page in existence? It belongs to Anne Sellors, a woman just barely featured in the 1984 BBC television play Threads, which imagines the aftermath of...
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The Last Day In The Office
by Miles Klee The company is moving its headquarters downtown, from Madison Avenue to a building on Broad Street, next to the New York Stock Exchange, that is bristling with security checkpoints and...
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A Guide to the 2010 Republican Up-And-Comers
by Miles Klee Ben Quayle: Competing to represent Arizona's 3rd congressional district. Figured that enough people would have forgotten his blithering not-Jack-Kennedy father to make his unfortunate...
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Future Fatigue: Gary Shteyngart's Attack on the Young
by Miles Klee At the end of Gary Shteyngart's near-future satire Super Sad True Love Story, I sank into a curious exhaustion. I had impulsively bought the discounted hardcover while battling a...
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Last Night's Pavement Central Park Thundershow: Gen X is All Wet
by Miles Klee Miles Klee: I think I have a little bit of a crush on Generation X. And seeing Pavement play a concert in an apocalyptic Central Park thunderstorm last night took it to a whole new...
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Varieties of Things That One Rarely Bothers to Mention or Document
by Miles Klee The week I had my wisdom teeth removed, I saw a man in line at the corner bodega drop a pencil, a nice-looking one, without noticing. I was fixed in a Percocet fog and stared at the...
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Ibid.
by Miles Klee As to those, who in presence of their betters are too lowly in speech so that they bring not their voice whole to the lips, it happened to me and without full utterance I began:1 Yes, it...
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A Q&A with Subports
by Miles Klee Subports is a retail mechanism disguised as fun. They provides vendors with a text "shortcode"—you know, like the way they vote on reality TV shows—that customers who have enrolled their...
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Actions Have Consequences, or, I'll See You in Hell
by Miles Klee You go to hell. Or: hell comes to you. You are unemployed, pursuing work, any sort. You submit a cover letter so typo-ridden it breaks the Internet. The Internet, of course, is what...
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How To Share Big Files
by Miles Klee Try to attach a file that's 25 megabytes or bigger to an outgoing Gmail message and what do you get? I have no idea, because I would never attempt such a stunt, but I'm guessing it's a...
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24 Varieties of Silence
by Miles Klee The landlord is about to pounce. An odor of sweat via sweatshirt informs you halfway down the last flight of stairs. He is in the lobby, mopping, maybe. Or red-ink-emphasizing every line...
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A Few Environments
by Miles Klee Playground next to low-income housing. At night. Modular squares of beaten rubber serve as gridlike, lunar ground. Swoop of a tubular plastic slide. Sag of a miniature plank bridge that...
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Drunken Notes from Last Night's Republican Debate That Will Also Serve as...
by Miles Klee SO MANY SCREENS. GLORIOUS, USELESS SCREENS. Grip the podium for dear life or don’t? This alone will determine who becomes president. ONE SENTENCE INTROS. It’s like a round of...
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Eleven Impossibilities
by Miles Klee Doctor Says I Can’t Fly Anymore Something to do with kidney strain. Now, absurdly, my feet are what move me. I look to the sky, clouded by people: executives floating to work in suits…...
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Some Revised Tourism Slogans
by Miles Klee Acapulco: Not That Many Decapitations Per Capita Touring The French Riviera? Well Heads Up Because For Some Reason The Casinos Make You Wear Shoes Detroit — Don't Bother Locking Up When...
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"Hecuba": From Miles Klee's "Ivyland"
by Miles Klee Miles Klee's debut novel, Ivyland, takes place in a crumbling, violent, post-urban New Jersey. Published by OR Books, the novel's been getting praise for its dark vision of a burned-out...
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Until Further Notice: Non-Negotiable Instructions
by Miles Klee Wake up when you have to. Take as much air you need. Examine trivial details, the bubbled foam on a just-used but not-yet-rinsed toothbrush. Eat what you eat too often. Swallow. Have or...
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An Unexpected Masterpiece
by Miles Klee As National Novel Writing Month continues on, the next in our series about the novels that we started writing but, for whatever reason, never finished. The novel I never wrote is...
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The Short Stories Of George Saunders So Far, In Order
by Miles Klee 35. "The Semplica Girl Diaries" 34. "Puppy" 33. "My Amendment" 32. "I CAN SPEAK™" 31. "Al Roosten" 30. "93990" 29. "The Barber's Unhappiness" 28. "Bohemians" 27. "Pastoralia" 26. "Tenth...
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