Vanishing Point (Your Memes Reviewed): The Joseph Ducreux Self-Portrait
by Miles Klee In 1793, France's revolutionary government decreed that the Louvre Palace, a much-remodeled Parisian fortress, should serve as a museum to house and exhibit the nation's 537 greatest...
View ArticleStop Threatening To Kill People Over The Internet!
by Miles Klee Sleep. Go on, sleep. Rest easy. I want your muscles relaxed so I can peel them cleanly off your bones. Then I'm gonna cut your bicuspids out and carve the Greek alphabet into the softest...
View ArticleVanishing Point: "Downfall" and the Filmed History of Hitler
by Miles Klee Late last month, it very nearly ended: a meme that had, weirdly, endured for years. When the copyright notices finally came to YouTube, and some of the videos were removed–well, they...
View ArticleAn 81-Hour Break From Civilization At Sasquatch Music Festival 2010
by Miles Klee The port-a-potty situation is universally humbling. The brand is Honey Bucket, which is so gross and psychosexually radioactive a name that the excreta deposited and vacuumed out of them...
View ArticleThe Golden Age Of Hipper-Than-Thou CD Fetishization Begins Now
by Miles Klee Yeah, no, I bet whatever album you're trying to tell me about is great. It's not even out yet? Ooh, a leak! So you've got, what, a 160 kbps transcode ripped from NPR's live stream or...
View Article'Futurama' Returns: Now More Than Whenever
by Miles Klee Nerds: they talk about nerd things. Here, nerds Becky Ferreira and Miles Klee discuss the return/reboot of Futurama, now airing its sixth season on Comedy Central. Miles Klee: Becky! I...
View ArticleThe Museum Instinct and Sarcastic Amazon Reviews
by Miles Klee Have you visited the saddest IMDb page in existence? It belongs to Anne Sellors, a woman just barely featured in the 1984 BBC television play Threads, which imagines the aftermath of...
View ArticleThe Last Day In The Office
by Miles Klee The company is moving its headquarters downtown, from Madison Avenue to a building on Broad Street, next to the New York Stock Exchange, that is bristling with security checkpoints and...
View ArticleA Guide to the 2010 Republican Up-And-Comers
by Miles Klee Ben Quayle: Competing to represent Arizona's 3rd congressional district. Figured that enough people would have forgotten his blithering not-Jack-Kennedy father to make his unfortunate...
View ArticleFuture Fatigue: Gary Shteyngart's Attack on the Young
by Miles Klee At the end of Gary Shteyngart's near-future satire Super Sad True Love Story, I sank into a curious exhaustion. I had impulsively bought the discounted hardcover while battling a...
View ArticleLast Night's Pavement Central Park Thundershow: Gen X is All Wet
by Miles Klee Miles Klee: I think I have a little bit of a crush on Generation X. And seeing Pavement play a concert in an apocalyptic Central Park thunderstorm last night took it to a whole new...
View ArticleVarieties of Things That One Rarely Bothers to Mention or Document
by Miles Klee The week I had my wisdom teeth removed, I saw a man in line at the corner bodega drop a pencil, a nice-looking one, without noticing. I was fixed in a Percocet fog and stared at the...
View ArticleIbid.
by Miles Klee As to those, who in presence of their betters are too lowly in speech so that they bring not their voice whole to the lips, it happened to me and without full utterance I began:1 Yes, it...
View ArticleA Q&A with Subports
by Miles Klee Subports is a retail mechanism disguised as fun. They provides vendors with a text "shortcode"—you know, like the way they vote on reality TV shows—that customers who have enrolled their...
View ArticleActions Have Consequences, or, I'll See You in Hell
by Miles Klee You go to hell. Or: hell comes to you. You are unemployed, pursuing work, any sort. You submit a cover letter so typo-ridden it breaks the Internet. The Internet, of course, is what...
View ArticleHow To Share Big Files
by Miles Klee Try to attach a file that's 25 megabytes or bigger to an outgoing Gmail message and what do you get? I have no idea, because I would never attempt such a stunt, but I'm guessing it's a...
View Article24 Varieties of Silence
by Miles Klee The landlord is about to pounce. An odor of sweat via sweatshirt informs you halfway down the last flight of stairs. He is in the lobby, mopping, maybe. Or red-ink-emphasizing every line...
View ArticleA Few Environments
by Miles Klee Playground next to low-income housing. At night. Modular squares of beaten rubber serve as gridlike, lunar ground. Swoop of a tubular plastic slide. Sag of a miniature plank bridge that...
View ArticleDrunken Notes from Last Night's Republican Debate That Will Also Serve as...
by Miles Klee SO MANY SCREENS. GLORIOUS, USELESS SCREENS. Grip the podium for dear life or don’t? This alone will determine who becomes president. ONE SENTENCE INTROS. It’s like a round of...
View ArticleEleven Impossibilities
by Miles Klee Doctor Says I Can’t Fly Anymore Something to do with kidney strain. Now, absurdly, my feet are what move me. I look to the sky, clouded by people: executives floating to work in suits…...
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